Just me and you daddy…

I find it so hard to start a blog post, entering into what’s on my heart. I blank. Looking back I always seem to begin with “its been a long week, so much has happened,” because so much has; but then I get overwhelmed because I want to write about it all! So much revelation! And God is just moving daily on my heart–I’m so thankful!
So I’m done with trying to write about everything and just share what I feel the Lord wants me to share that would encourage someone who is reading :) Yay. No pressure..
I’ve been journaling a lot lately, which isn’t new; I fill up journals almost every other month. But I used to journal with God, kind of writing out my prayers to him, in that sharing my day and documenting life around me. Somewhere within the last month though, my journaling has turned into a bit of a one-way conversation. I’d say what I needed to pray or share with God and then I’d be done. I wouldn’t wait for his response to my rambling. It’s funny how being in a school and listening to teaching that feels “basic” reminds you of how far you strayed from the basics.
From the teaching of Mark Verkler, Alyn taught us how to hear God’s voice. Which seems simple enough, right? I feel like I hear God’s voice throughout my day and when I spend time with him, but its amazing how much more he has to say if we just listen. We went over four keys (based from Habakkuk 2v:1-2) —we even had hand motions to them! Ha.
1. Quiet yourself in the Lords presence. Learn how to be still and rest.
2. Look for vision as you pray & focus your eyes on Jesus. Habakkuk said, “I will keep watch to see,” and God said, “Record the vision.” Habakkuk was actually looking for vision as he prayed. He opened the eyes of his heart, and looked into the spirit world to see what God wanted to show him.
3. Tune to spontaneity. Often God’s voice is like a spontaneous flow of thoughts.
4. Write it down. Write down the spontaneous thoughts and visions that the Lord gives to you.
So this is what I’ve been doing. I’ve been journaling with God again, listening for what he has to say to me. Alyn says “I hear God as often as I choose to listen.” Which is really profound. It is rather amazing how much Papa wants to say to us when we quiet ourselves down enough to listen. Pages and pages, I’ve been writing. A lot of it is just Papa telling me how much he loves and adores me. It’s rather refreshing and encouraging.

Having being reminded to journal with God instead of to him was very helpful with the topic this week on the Father Heart. As always, every time, God has something new to show me, another layer to go deeper into understanding his big papa bear heart. He desires to simply hold us, hug us, He can’t wait to spend time with us, and lavish good things over us; blessings upon blessings. This is what I’ve been feeling him speaking over me…

“Yes, come for rest. But stay for rest, too. Stop all feverish haste and be calm and untroubled. Come unto Me, not only for petitions to be granted but for nearness to Me. Be sure of My Help, be conscious of My Presence, and wait until My Rest fills your soul. Rest knows no fear. Rest knows no want. Rest is strong, sure. The rest of soft glades and peacefully flowing rivers, of strong, immovable hills. Rest, and all you need to gain this rest is to come to Me. So come.” –God Calling, Sep 23

I’ve felt him asking me to give up to-do lists and planning for a short time or just coming to him first and not adding him to a checklist of things to do. In that I have a tendency to start to control my life instead of resting and trusting him. It’s been a great realization and was even confirmed by Alyn’s message at Emanate on Monday. This is what the Lord has been saying to him…

“So much of what you want to achieve I will just give you if you will trade doing for resting. If you will sow me your busyness, you will reap my fruitfulness.”
Yes. And Amen.

I encourage you, rest, spend some time with Papa, sit in his lap and be loved. It’s well worth your time.

A little girl lost by the sea…

A month or so before I arrived here in Iceland I was at one of the Caleb Co. worship nights and my prayer that night was just for the Lord to show me what was blocking me from going deeper into intimacy with him. While we were soaking I got this extremely vivid vision of me as a small girl at the ocean with PapaGod we were running and playing and then all of a sudden I turned around and he wasn’t there anymore. The waves started crashing harder and the sky got dark and gray. I was so afraid. For a moment I didn’t understand why God would give me such a horrible vision. I prayed with some of the girls there through some forgiveness and renouncing fears of abandonment, but this vision kept creeping up. Until one day the Lord explained that this was how I saw him, he was giving me a vision through my filters.

As you’ve read in my past blogs (maybe) some of the healing I’ve walked through since I’ve been here, my image of who God is morphing into the fullness of who he actually is. So this week during our “Seek my Face” time we had to write a poem, I thought Id share it with you all. I’m really not the best poet but I had fun…

I once was a little girl
lost by the sea
stormy, dark and gray.
I was soaked in fear,
holding my teddy near.

I ran up and down the shore
looking and searching,
but I found no one.
The thunder rolled in
and I trembled at each crashing wave.

I cried out “Where are you?”
And “Why have you left me here?”
I needed your love to rescue me.
No sooner did I cry,
the waves calmed
and the sun came out from hiding.
I felt the warmth of my hand in yours.

We spent a day at the sea.
running and playing, carefree.
“Ive never left your side” you said,
and smiled down on me

I am still that little girl
running by the sea
No longer abandoned,
finally at rest.
No longer afraid,
but safe in your arms.
No longer so sad,
but joyful to be
walking with my King
for eternity.